Day 115

"There are some things to die for but none to kill for." -Shane Claiborne

 I'm a very competitive person. Not to say that I always have been, but I am. And when I say competitive I don't mean I love a good game of bocce ball on a sunny afternoon. When I say competitive I mean that when I start a game, whatever it is, everything I have pours into it. I can't focus on anything else, my mind races for any path that will lead me to the sweat victory that rewords my efforts. Not that victory is even my goal. Victory is a means to my goal. My goal though is strikingly similar, not losing. I said that I wasn't always competitive, that's because of a simple fact; I hate losing, sometimes far more than I enjoy winning. With a victory I don't become excited, I become relieved. I never used to like competition because I couldn't stand to lose. There was a point in my life I guess when that changed, when I realized the excitement in the risk. That despite the stakes, actually because of the stakes, competition was an opportunity for excitement, for adrenaline. Stress is a huge problem with so many people, unresolved stress. When I enter into any form of competition stress levels go through the roof, but I know that as long as I finish that game 100% of the time all stress is resolved, and with it other stress from my day is resolved as well. People are desperate for resolved stress. I'm sure there are better ways of doing this like jumping out of planes but I can't very well recommend that. I guess what I'm trying to say is that... well, I'm addicted to Othello. And war is bad. 

If you disagree with any of my opinions above or you would simply like to remind me that I have a problem, please feel free to leave a comment. You might be surprised at how many people agree with you.